Sittin Waitin Wishin: Mercedes S-Class

"Jonathon Klein" (jonathon-klein) 07/22/2014 at 15:34 • Filed to: Sittin Waitin Wishin, Mercedes S Class

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When you see a brand new S Class Mercedes, immediately you think of two conversations. The first, "Jeeve's please just run through this crowd of angry ne'er-do-wells, their poorness is upsetting Muffy my darling." And second, "quick we must make it to the bunker right now; I need to call in an airstrike!" So you are either a pompous prick, or someone with access to an air force that has a habit of locking up dissidents. And that is exactly what the new S Class exudes. Not only class and sophistication, but an arrogance that only an S-Class can get away with. As with all S-Class's that have come before it, this new version, and I do mean new, provides a glimpse into the world of automotive tech that will slowly trickle down to the masses in the coming years. But I'm not sure all the fancy tech and gizmo's on this new big Benz is right for the class and age of the person able to purchase this car? Before I get into the wondrous interior, I want to pay a little attention to the group of people I encountered in the car at the auto show.

Since I didn't know when the next time I would be able to sit in a brand new S-Class, I tried to stay in it for as long as possible. So I decided to do some short interviews with the people in the car. I'm not one to be shy!

The first group of people consisted of Chicago Bear person, I have no idea which one, and he was signing autographs, a young kid, maybe 15, me, and a guy that could have been the Wall street Journal's Dan Neil identical twin brother. Seriously, I had to do a second and third take, that's how much they looked alike. I started off asking how the rear leg room was to Dan Neil and the kid who were sitting in the back. They both said they could stretch out easily and the seats were uber comfortable. The Bear guy was sitting in the driver's seat and even at 6'5" 300lbs, had more than enough room to relax and drive comfortably. Then I got to the real question, I asked if they all saw the smiling clown face. They all gave me confused looks at first, and then I pointed at the steering wheel. The kid and the Bears player started laughing hysterically, and the Dan Neil look alike just kept saying his mind was blown! The best part was the Bears player got his entourage to come over and check it out too! They were all laughing.

The next group was probably the best one. An older waspy lady who sat in the driver's seat, a young girl, and a middle aged dude. Now what made this group great was the older lady. You could smell the old money this woman had. Gold watch, gold rings, Prada handbag, and very expensive clothes. So I talked, as usual to all the other people, and then pulled the same question about the clown. Everyone but the older woman laughed. The lady looks at it for awhile, sees it, then states this verbatim, "Why I never, I will be calling my Mercedes dealer and complaining immediately." She didn't say it being funny, but with the straightest face I've ever witnessed. It was awesome. But her reaction is from the class and age of buyer that will most likely buy this car, and with the entire tech that's in it, plus the TFT display dash, I think Mercedes did their core buyer a disservice. S-Class buyers want the ease and elegance of a big Benz, not just the newest latest fashion trend.

Enough about the people, funny as they are, let's get to the car; this is SWW is it not? What is really not to love about the S-Class. The front seats are heaven. They have a million different functions to massage your butt. Heated? Check. Cooled? Check. They are so soft, so plush, so mushy, they could be miss-identified as warm mashed potatoes. Heck the entire dash could be made of mashed potatoes. The entire car is lined with this quilted fabric that just feels so sumptuous. The back seats are the same. This is no Kia Rio. Heck I didn't try it, but I would hazard to guess that even the trunk is probably comfortable.

( The Mercedes S-Class, even the trunk is comfortable for your kidnapping needs! )

There is however one thing that I cannot stand about this car, the dash. I'm sorry; the massive TFT display is going to break as soon as the car goes out of warranty. Just think about the car 5-10yrs down the road. All those LCD panels, all the electrical wiring, all the wires in general, whoever owns this car is going to lose their minds with maintenance bills. Unless you get it from CarMax! But it's not even just the fact that it will break if you look at it funny, it just doesn't look good. I'm a big fan of actual gauges, real physical gauges. What this TFT panel is going to do is date this car in 5yrs time. There is no getting around it.

I really really enjoy this car. I really want to drive it. Maybe I'll get a chance to do that someday soon. But until then I will have to just enjoy the fact that I at least got to spend some time with it. The Mercedes S Class is the pinnacle of automotive elegance and at the same time can be used for some of the most nefarious of things. But this car, right there, right now, it gets big thumbs up from me.

( note, the S-Class does not have a Honda CR-Z wheel )

You can follow me here on !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

heliochrome85 > Jonathon Klein 07/22/2014 at 15:40

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In the luxury sedan market, there is really only one option, and its the Mercedes-Benz S-Class. The Audi A8, Lexus LS460, and 7-series are just also-rans. Given that interior and tech, it would not surprise me if people are cross shopping this with the Bentley Flying Spur.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Jonathon Klein 07/22/2014 at 15:56

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not just the newest latest fashion trend.

That's exactly what it is! Even though most S-Class buyers are over 50, as long as it has existed, the S-Class has been about cramming as much new, pioneering technology into a sedan as physically possible. There is no such thing as too many gadgets in an S-Class.

GhostZ > Jonathon Klein 07/22/2014 at 16:06

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This is what I think when I see new S Class:

That one petty, wealthy grandmother who "really insists" you act a certain way, and deep down, is a shameless bitch. She also thinks perfume, hair dye, and jewelry makes her look 20 years younger. It doesn't. Not at all.